YOU KNOW YOU ARE GETTING OLDER WHEN......................


Subject: On Getting Old A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, *"I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.." * *The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me." * *As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too." * *The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water." * *"Coming up," says the bartender. * *As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too." * *The old woman says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water." * *"Coming right up," the bartender says. * *As he gives her the drink, he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" * *The old woman replies,* *"Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue." * *"OLD" IS WHEN* ... *Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one; I can't do both!" * *"OLD " IS WHEN * ..* Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. * *"OLD" IS WHEN* .. *A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. * *"OLD" IS WHEN* ..* Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face*. *"OLD" IS WHEN* ... *You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. * *"OLD" IS WHEN* ...* You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. * *"OLD" IS WHEN* .."Getting a little action" means you don't need to take any fiber today *"OLD" IS WHEN* ... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. *"OLD" IS WHEN* .. *An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom. * *AND* *"OLD" IS WHEN* ... *You are not sure these are jokes*